The girl gets inspired.

I have just received the January edition of Zest magazine (I’ve got a subscription) and it’s brimming with inspiration for change in 2011. I am determined that 2011 will be fantastic, in fact I have a feeling that it will be. I had such a feeling about 2009 and I was right (well, apart from the last couple of months when I had my very first taste of unemployment). I had a feeling that 2010 wouldn’t be great and I was right again, it’s been mainly about managing disappointment. Which is a good lesson to learn actually, so it’s not been a wasted time.

But now I’m feeling much better, the job search is well underway and I can only receive so many no’s before I get a yes. And the writing is going well, I’m still plugging away which counts for something! You can’t publish something if you don’t write it after all.

This year has not been the greatest, unemployment and terrible jobs being the main reason. But we’ve also had our fair share of bad news. Sometimes you have a bad year, when everything that can go wrong in your family seems too, all at once. So I’m ready to let this year go in a few weeks time and only remember the fun times I had (yes, I did have some!)

But next year will be better. I have decided it. I don’t have any control over the bad news days, but I do have control over the things that can make me happy. It’s really easy to feel useless – after all, if I keep getting turned down for jobs there’s got to be a reason, right? And that reason must be that I’m useless, mustn’t it? Well, no actually. I know full well I’m not useless and I hate falling under that spell because that gets me nowhere except to the bottom of a large box of chocolates. The only way out of the hole is to climb out myself, no one’s going to throw me a ladder. And I spend so much time worrying about whether I can afford to go out, whether I can afford to have dinner with friends that life becomes unendingly dreary and sorry, but that’s not my bag.

So bring on 2011! I have great plans for you. And in case you’re wondering where I’m getting my sudden zeal from, check out Zest magazine and also check out some of these inspirational ladies: Natural Beautee, A Beautiful Mess, Skunkboy Creatures and The Bothered Owl.

The girl gets a makeover.

A lot of things happen when you give up chocolate, cake and biscuits. I thought I’d be absolute hell to live with considering I build my day around chocolate breaks and biccies keep me going between breakfast and lunch. But I’m actually not too bad, occasionally a bit tetchy, but that’s nothing. And hey, half way through the month and I’ve only suffered a two day wobble (hardly my fault when there was a CARRIER BAG of chocolate buttons in the house!) And I’m starting to get these looks from le fam. Little sideways ones when they think I’m not looking, while they’re having tea and biscuits and I’m just sipping my green tea. They’re actually starting to look quite impressed.

Secondly, you lose weight. I hadn’t realised that I actually eat pretty healthily and I don’t eat loads. Take away all those sugary snacks and I’m a breakfast-lunch-dinner girl. It’s surprising how pecking away at biscuits between meals, cake for elevenses and chocolate for pudding makes you think you’ve eaten loads that day. Which – calorie-wise – you probably have.

Anyway, I’m doing less running because it’s getting too chilly for a wuss like me, but I’ve got back into Pilates and yoga. Pilates had slid away when I got into running and I had forgotten that it was actually a cardio workout and crikey, it doesn’t half make your legs ache. But combined with the no-sugar-month the results were super speedy and I’m feeling pretty good. Bring on that Christmas Little Black Dress! I’ll be cranking up the Flirt-o-Factor so watch out Laaandaaaan!

So, my skin is glowing because I’ve been so healthy these last couple of weeks and I’ve got into the habit of drinking water when a sugar craving hits. I’m feeling pretty fit and good about my figure.

And then insomnia made me decide to cut my hair. I was tossing and turning and when your hair reaches down almost to the middle of your back, it gets in the way. I woke up with a birds nest and spent nearly ten minutes untangling it. And that was it, its fate was sealed. But my good mate C couldn’t fit me in for a cut for a couple of weeks so it’s been driving me mad for a while. So when it went I was totally ok with it. Relieved even. I would have gone shorter, I love cute little bobs, but I’m lazy and this is just long enough that I can tie it up if I don’t have time to style it or I’m having a bad hair day.

And here’s the results (posing is not my forte):
 
In other news, I’ve received a couple of ever so polite rejections. The sort that made me think that in any other time I might have made it to the interview stage. This is both heartening and depressing! Still, I’m plugging away and that’s the main thing.

The writing goes well too, which is wonderful and possibly the only thing that’s keeping me from climbing on the roof and going “Wooooee is meeeeeee!” And, rather excitingly, I’m going to a script-writing class on Monday. This makes me very happy indeed!

Oh and this week is Shakespeare Week on Vulpes Libris and it’s been rather wonderful. Here’s the link to my contribution: Shakespeare and Me

Banging head against brick wall?

I can’t be the only unemployed person that thinks that, right? That all I’m doing really is smashing my head up against a brick wall and not really getting anywhere. It’s got to a point where I can’t actually remember how many applications I’ve sent out. Or who to. And then there’s the looming possibility that actually, sorry, off you go into some job you don’t really want purely because you need some money to help out with the bills and put clothes on your back.

I really wish money wasn’t such an issue. I know some people would say, well you live at home, it’s not like you need money for rent or bills or anything. But actually I live with my Mum and Nan and I actually think I do need to help with the bills as I live here and use the gas, electricity and water too. And last time I checked I was a grown woman who shouldn’t be living off her Mum. And unfortunately you need money to live. I like the odd night out, the occasional trip to the cinema or lunch out with friends. And guess what – that costs money!

So go on, tell me how exactly I’m supposed to go about getting my dream job. I’d really love to know. But please none of this “I just fell into it” rubbish because all I ever fall into is the sale rack at H&M.

That being said – or, more accurately, ranted – I have spent the last couple of days emailing loads of different magazines about job opportunities or work experience. I thought as my working in the theatre line of job-hunting wasn’t exactly setting the world alight I should consider other options. So I’ve been looking into more school work (with a particular focus on drama) and working on a magazine. I’ve had a couple of responses, which was lovely given my current ARGH!! mood and there’s a chance of some up-coming work experience. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Maybe I’ll realise that this is EXACTLY what I want to do and lo, I’ll be surrounded by actual people have have done it! Who are doing it! And then… then I’ll be able to ASK them how! Pass me the smelling salts, I may be about to get some answers!

“No one wants to kiss a girl in black.”

So we’re three weeks in and I can no longer resist the urge to talk about Merlin, the BBC’s modern re-imagining of Arthurian legend. Why do I love it? Well, go and iPlayer the first two episodes of this series and see for yourself. It really hit the ground running. With a cast of relative young unknowns and older big names (Richard Wilson, flexing his comedy muscles as Gaius this week and Anthony Head as Uther) this is a series that blows Robin Hood out of the water. And also proves that the BBC can produce other work to equal the standard of Doctor Who. There’s a five-series plan or so I’ve heard, and I can’t wait to see how it all pans out.

And there’s the superb Downton Abbey which premiered on Sunday and from which I take my title quote. I was hooked since the first trailer which used a choral version of Every Breath You Take by The Police (inspired by Cranford’s choral use of Scandalous?). Now I’m a period drama junkie anyway, but this is really fantastic. Not only does it boast some of my favourite actors (Hugh Bonneville, Maggie Smith, Dan Stevens, Brendan Coyle and Penelope Wilton to name but a few) but it’s written by Julian Fellowes! When it comes to this sort of complex, peopled drama, he’s the man. Really looking forward to seeing how this pans out over the next seven weeks.

In other news, I’ve had my first job rejection. Although I would like to take this opportunity to thank The Bush Theatre for actually having the decency to email me to say they wouldn’t be inviting me to interview. Yes, it was obviously a mass email sent to everyone who wasn’t getting an interview, but it was better than nothing. In my experience nothing is exactly what you get, you only know you’ve failed because no one has bothered to contact you. It’s actually really nice to receive a kindly-written no, even one that’s been sent to 100 other people. I also had an email to acknowledge receipt of my application for another job which also told me when I could expect to hear from them again. You see, employers? It’s not that difficult to be polite!