Dear 2011, the year that was.

Oh how the times do change. This year has been great. Ok, so I don’t have the job I love (yet!), I didn’t win the lottery or get engaged to Richard Armitage (yet!). But I can honestly say that 2011, you have been good to me. Before we hit 2012, here are 12 things that 2011 taught me:

1. Things can only get better. This time last year I thought that things could only get better because they couldn’t get any worse. I know that things can only get better in 2012 because the foundations have been laid in 2011 for a great year and a great future.

2. Good times and bad times make a friendship. They say you learn who your true friends are when the shit hits the fan. But you also learn who really cares when things start coming up roses. Also you can stay friends with someone, even if they have buggered off to Australia. In-depth conversations about Buffy the Vampire Slayer are go! 

3. Having direction brings positivity. This year I finally realised what I wanted to do with my life. Or, more accurately, how I wanted to pursue it. In only a matter of weeks I will be starting a course, training as a make-up artist. This thrills and terrifies me in equal measure.

4. Never go back. Whatever old feelings might come crashing back, the past doesn’t change. Always move forward. Like a shark. Let it go and you open yourself up to much cooler things.

5. Personal style is important. I always used to say that I didn’t really care what I looked like, that what was inside was what mattered most. At the same time I didn’t want to look like everyone else. But this year I took control of my appearance. I threw away every item of clothing that I didn’t like, didn’t suit me, didn’t wear. I started to think about what I wore, how I did my hair. I started to think about what I bought. I bought and wore only things I loved – both new and vintage. It’s amazing how much a bright outfit that you feel really good in can make the day start in such a great way.

6. Dancing is essential to life. Not only is the best work out ever – I know this because I ache the next morning – it puts you in the best mood! No matter how crap your day, how tired you are or how blue, shaking it on a sticky dance floor to epic tunes will fill you with joy. Don’t even get me started on Zumba!

7. People are inspirational – find them. I have found such inspiration in the following blogs: GalaDarling.com (check out her book Love & Sequins – too good!); A Beautiful Mess; Bangsandabun.

8. Kundalini Yoga is an addiction. It just makes me feel so good – so calm and exhilarated afterwards. I’m totally addicted to it. I’m not the world’s greatest runner, this is much more my thing. I still try to run at least once a week though. Exercise really does make you feel great in your own skin.

9. Natural beauty is the ultimate. I use raw cocoa butter from Akoma which I melt down in silicone cupcake cases with a drop of olive oil and a few drops of essential oils. I use it as a massage bar and it is a delicious treat. Also, Lush facial skincare has been wonderful to me.

10. TV steals your soul. All right, that’s a bit dramatic. But I live in a house with people who worship the great soap trinity: Eastenders, Coronation Street, Emmerdale. I’ve always watched them too. Out of habit I flick on the TV when I’m cooking, cleaning, generally whenever I enter a room. I’ve well and truly shaken that habit and I’d encourage you to try it. These days I live for Doctor Who, Merlin and Downton Abbey (which jumped the shark big time, which I sort of love) but otherwise I rarely watch TV. It’s freed up so much time for exercise, writing, reading and chatting with friends.

11. Validation is important. Much as you might tell yourself that you are talented, much as your friends and family might agree, there is something really powerful about being told you’re good by a stranger.

12. Positivity breeds delight. Nothing is so awful that it can’t be faced. Look for the good and you’ll find it as surely as you’ll find the bad.

The Inspiration Hook.

Apologies for the lapse in posting, I’ve been wading my way through Le Morte Darthur by Sir Thomas Mallory since the beginning of the month and only just finished it (keep an eye on Vulpes Libris).

But I haven’t just been holed up in my room, feverishly turning pages and untangling archaic language with a furrowed brow. Oh no. I’m ever so much cooler than that, my friends. In the last few weeks I’ve taken advantage of A Night Less Ordinary (a special thanks here to my “sis” who arranged the tickets on both occasions). For those that haven’t heard of it ANLO offers free theatre tickets for the under 26s. I’ve seen several plays thanks to this scheme and I recently saw Tiger Country at the Hampstead Theatre and Twisted Tales at the Hammersmith Lyric. 

I enjoyed Tiger Country while I was sat there watching it. I was engaged, but once we started talking about it on the way home, when I started thinking about in the days after, I realised that I was a little disappointed. Why? Because as an avid viewer of Holby City and an occasional viewer of Casualty, it was nothing I hadn’t seen before. We had the bossy female registrar, determined to succeed in spite of her race and her sex, ready to give up anything for it, ultimately redeemed by family love and loyalty. Then the good doctor, struck down by cancer, forced to become a patient. And of course, the idealistic junior, determined never to lose a patient, slowly coming to realise that her handsome boyfriend is not all she hoped, her head turned by her grumpy superior who is repressing his love for her. In long-running serials these clichés can be well-done, events, character and the sheer luxury of time can elevate them. But Tiger Country didn’t have the luxury of time and scuppered itself further by including too many characters, too many narrative threads. Yes, it gave a good sense of the fragmented life of a doctor, the unsociable hours, the hard work, the need for someone to understand. But I just felt that too much was going on and therefore it had to rely on stereotypes to tell the story. There were moments though that caught my attention – that snagged the part of my brain that stores away inspiration. It’s thanks to this play that a few more pages in my ideas notebook was filled.

Twisted Tales I loved from start, finish and homeward-bound dissection. The arrival of a chatty stranger into the daily commute of three reserved men sparks the play as he tells them several odd stories. It’s a strange piece, much as the stories themselves are. There’s the man who bets a young American that he can’t light his trusty lighter ten items in a row – he’ll wager his car if the young American will bet the little finger of his left hand. There’s the woman who receives a mink coat as a parting present from her lover and comes up with an elaborate ploy to keep it from her husband. Each story has a little twist that you don't always see coming. Nearly all of them make you squirm, laugh and slide to the edge of your seat. I think of all the stories there was only one where I knew what the twist would be. The staging, the company, all did a wonderful job at producing these savage little tales. I loved every single minute and determined to dive back into Dahl’s short stories which I haven’t read in years and can hardly remember.

While we left the Hammersmith Lyric bubbling with praise and chatter about the stories, my inspiration hook snoozed. It could not be tempted awake by murderous old ladies or bullying public schoolboys. Why? Why did something I think was bloody brilliant not inspire me the way something I thought was pretty flawed did?

Because there was no moment where I thought I could take it and run off in another direction with it. There was nothing I felt ought to have been done another way, a different road taken. Twisted Tales was such a complete piece, so neatly finished that it demanded to be admired, not improved. Tiger Country, with its mad spill of characters and half-finished scenarios presented more possibility for my discerning inspiration hook.

So you see, anything can be of benefit to you, nothing is ever wasted. Do I think that I could have written Tiger Country better? Certainly not. However, my brain cannot stop ticking over the tangent that I spotted that was left fluttering and unexplored, my inspiration hook demanded that I hang something on it…

[Sadly, ANLO is coming to an end very soon, due to cuts I believe. So I would urge everyone that is eligible to take advantage while they can.]

The girl got a job.

So remember my “inspirational” post yesterday wherein I said that I was certain that 2011 was going to be great? Turns out I’m a touch more psychic than I thought because guess who just got offered a job?

I had an interview on Tuesday for the role of part-time receptionist at a private clinic. I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want to jinx it, even though I came out feeling that I had got it. I tried not to dwell on that and I didn’t mention it to anyone because well, you don’t want to look an idiot if you don’t get it. But I did, as of about an hour ago. Good money, good job and because it’s part-time I can still write and I fully intend to put myself about (um, publishing-wise that is).

This is just the early Christmas present I needed. I’m very glad that I didn’t go back to the Job Centre, although I told myself that I’d have to in the New Year, funds not being what they were a few months ago. So this is well-timed. I feel really good about this job and I intend to celebrate this weekend by dipping into my savings one more time. Well, I’ve got to have a work wardrobe, haven’t I? And an outfit for New Year wouldn’t hurt, would it? After all I am ushering in a great year!

So to those of you that are out of work and feeling a bit rubbish – keep your chins up! I know that is the hardest thing you can do right now, but if you do remain positive, you’ll write better applications, you’ll come over better in interviews. And remember – it’s impossible that you’re going to be in this situation forever. Every no is just taking you closer to that yes. And I know that this isn’t my dream job, but it’s keeping me going while I work towards my overall goal. It’s good to see the bigger picture, but it’s also worthwhile thinking about the brushstrokes, the steps between you and your dream.

I should probably point out that this blog isn’t about finding a job anymore. But I’m going to keep writing – about trying to get published and working towards the dream goal. Life is still full of challenges!

The girl gets inspired.

I have just received the January edition of Zest magazine (I’ve got a subscription) and it’s brimming with inspiration for change in 2011. I am determined that 2011 will be fantastic, in fact I have a feeling that it will be. I had such a feeling about 2009 and I was right (well, apart from the last couple of months when I had my very first taste of unemployment). I had a feeling that 2010 wouldn’t be great and I was right again, it’s been mainly about managing disappointment. Which is a good lesson to learn actually, so it’s not been a wasted time.

But now I’m feeling much better, the job search is well underway and I can only receive so many no’s before I get a yes. And the writing is going well, I’m still plugging away which counts for something! You can’t publish something if you don’t write it after all.

This year has not been the greatest, unemployment and terrible jobs being the main reason. But we’ve also had our fair share of bad news. Sometimes you have a bad year, when everything that can go wrong in your family seems too, all at once. So I’m ready to let this year go in a few weeks time and only remember the fun times I had (yes, I did have some!)

But next year will be better. I have decided it. I don’t have any control over the bad news days, but I do have control over the things that can make me happy. It’s really easy to feel useless – after all, if I keep getting turned down for jobs there’s got to be a reason, right? And that reason must be that I’m useless, mustn’t it? Well, no actually. I know full well I’m not useless and I hate falling under that spell because that gets me nowhere except to the bottom of a large box of chocolates. The only way out of the hole is to climb out myself, no one’s going to throw me a ladder. And I spend so much time worrying about whether I can afford to go out, whether I can afford to have dinner with friends that life becomes unendingly dreary and sorry, but that’s not my bag.

So bring on 2011! I have great plans for you. And in case you’re wondering where I’m getting my sudden zeal from, check out Zest magazine and also check out some of these inspirational ladies: Natural Beautee, A Beautiful Mess, Skunkboy Creatures and The Bothered Owl.

The writer who came in from the cold.

I’m not good with cold. It’s comes of growing up in a house without central heating. I kid you not. We have one fire in the living room and a heater in the bathroom. That’s it. We’re all about jumpers, layers and blankets. And tea. Lots and lots of tea. On really icy days I even brush my teeth with the warm water.

So I was either going to grow up to feel the cold worse or have become immune to it. Sadly, I’m the former. But I have my Paddington Bear coat so I’m prepared for the outside world and I have retreated from running and gone back to Pilates. On really lovely days I’m tempted out, but on cold and rainy days like today I’m quite happy with an hour of Pilates. It does the job.

This is also the time of year that colds set in. My Nan has already claimed to have one in her bladder. Not sure how medically possible that is, it’s not something that Holby City covers.

But this is ideal writing weather. Although produces a certain sort of prose, I’m tending towards more atmospheric stuff than normal, slightly spooky.

In other news, I had an email today offering me an interview at the end of November. Only a part-time thing, but hey, it’s cash! And coming in the same week as my work experience fell through (it was in Bristol, despite me stating I live in London and was therefore after experience in the London office) it was a bit of a boost.

Got a couple of other applications to fill in when I’m done here. So the application process rolls on.

Meet The Daddy

Yikes, I was a bit grim the other day, wasn’t I? My apologies.

It’s just occurred to me that I haven’t really addressed my writing on this blog. Mainly for the shameful reason that I haven’t done much of it. I’m not sure if other writers would agree with me, but I find it much harder to write the more time I have on my hands. It’s the same with a lot of my life – if I’m working full time I find I run more, write more and socialise more. I get less done on a week off work than I do on my first week back. Bit mad really.

The main writing news is that I’ve sadly scrubbed Idea Number Two from my whiteboard. Purely because it’s a brand spanking new idea that needs longer to stew. So I’ll be scribbling notes on that while I tackle Idea Number One, henceforth to be known as The Daddy.

I had promised myself I wouldn’t do this again. My first novel wasn’t straightforward – I used three narrators and covered 50+ years and not in chronological order. It was an editing nightmare, but I did it! I refused to be defeated! And then I was done I said to myself “The next book you write is going to start at the beginning and end at the end.” Ah, the promises you make yourself, do they ever remain unbroken?

Meet The Daddy: a family saga spread over two parallel universes. Oh yes. The first few thousand words have been divine. Absolutely wonderful to write, mainly because the split hasn’t happened yet. But we’re swiftly approaching the big question. “Yes” will lead to one universe and “No” will lead to another and thenceforth I’ll be juggling two worlds. Help! At least I can say that the story does begin at the beginning and end at the end, no more of this jumping about through time malarkey. It’s just that I have to write two stories at the same time.

Thankfully I’m yet to venture into parallel universe territory. I’m the sort of writer who will work and re-work the first 5,000 or so words. This is where I experiment, where I figure out if the story is best in third or first and if in first, who’s voice? I feel like I need to get these words right before I can move on, then I'm comfortable writing the rest of the story because I know my foundation is solid. the foundation might not last the edit but it will have done its job.

And I’ve just put down The Post-Birthday World by Lionel Shriver, a parallel-universe story of such brilliance I couldn’t stop grinning. Fortunately mine is just different enough that I don’t think I should give up, instead it has inspired me – it can be done!

Oh and keep an eye on Vulpes Libris, got a review up next Friday.

Inspirational posts

Here are a couple of posts that I’ve found inspirational. This first one is an old one that appeared in the howies catalogue a while back. I loved it so much that I ripped it out and stuck it on my wall. I’m working along these lines at the moment: Find your love

This second one is a new post, I got the link through The Do Lectures which I follow on Twitter: How BIG is your BUT? I’d recommend The Do Lectures anyway because although I cannot even imagine being able to afford to go, I love watching the lectures online. Some of the most inspirational stuff on the net, I think. Check it out!

What are your favourite inspirational posts? Or where do you get your inspiration from?

In other news I’ve have to confess that I haven’t looked for an agent for my novel in weeks. Yes, I know. Bad writer, how do you expect to ever get published?! So I’ve re-evaluated my time management. I’ve decided that given the time job applications take, how boring and eye-itching I find them, I’m only going to work on them every other day. I’ll try and average getting out about five on the days I work on them. The days I don’t work on them I’ll work on my own writing and on the agent search. At the moment I’m applying and then not bothering to do this other work because my eyes need a rest from the computer screen. I think this way I’ll still manage to get out plenty of applications and also work on other things. And hopefully having a day’s break will mean I’ll be fresher when working on personal statements and stories.

Any suggestions re: time management/agents/job hunting are cheerfully accepted!

Oh and if you’re interested in reviews, here's my latest: The Private Lives of Pippa Lee by Rebecca Miller