The Blog That Was: 2011 edition

So the blog has been running for over a year now and I’ve been reviewing for Vulpes Libris for over two years. As I’m planning stop blogging in 2012, I thought it might be nice to revisit some of the posts I’m most proud of as well as blogs from other people that have had a particular effect on me.

Dear London: In which I write a love letter to my city in the aftermath of the London riots.

Lessons to be Learned: In which I address the sneaking incipience of casual racism.

Define Thyself: In which I define myself. Obvs.

Ten years ago today: In which I give my personal memories of 11th September 2001.

Over to Vulpes Libris, where I say Goodbye to Harry Potter and friends and look at Arthurian Legend.

Now for other blogs:

This is porn to an organisation junkie like me: A Filofax love affair!

Inspiration for gloomy days: The Radical Self Love Manifesto and The Sad Trombone List.

Whenever procrastination hits, this is where I go: The Wild Donkey Guide To Getting Things Done

For happy days read My Top 50 Awesome Happy Things List and for giggles, watch Bangs Goes Rap.

And, last but not least, you should check out The Pursuit of Life. She’s a great friend of mine and she’s doing something pretty amazing!

Tips.

Has anyone seen this, in the Guardian: Ten Rules for Writing Fiction (Part One)?

It made me think. If I was a best-selling author, what would be my advice? Well, I’d probably agree with several of the rules stated above, particularly Margaret Atwood’s advice:

You chose this, so don’t whine.

But there is one original thing that I would suggest:

Write fanfiction.

Yeah, I know. I can hear the tumbleweeds. But that's actually how I started out.

I always knew I wanted to write, when I was about 11 I started a work of non-fiction called Why Did Dinosaurs Die? This was going to be the definitive work, epic in its scale, the foundation for my ground-breaking thesis. Then I moved onto fiction (more dinosaurs!) But I was young, so of course, these books came to nothing. Then, when I was about 16, I discovered fanfiction.net. A little while later I posted my first story, a one-shot, and that was it - I was hooked.

I actually consider fanfiction my apprenticeship. I was using characters that already existed, creating my own tangents from stuff that had already officially happened. The pressure was off - I didn't have to do all the hard work of creating real people and real worlds, I just got to play in it.

I learnt a lot. Fanfiction is a cruel business – if you're making a character do something they wouldn't do, if the plot is boring or unbelievable, reviewers will tell you. You quickly learn about pacing, plot, rhythm and keeping people interested. Even learning to recreate a character’s voice is useful.

Soon though, you'll want to commit one of the cardinal sins of fanfiction - create an original character. Generally referred to as a Mary-Sue. I'll hold my hands up, the last thing I wrote was an OC. But my reviewers liked her. I had learnt enough that I actually managed to pull it off (I'm still quite proud of this). And that gave me the push I needed into my own original fiction.

Be warned - the move into purely original fiction is not as easy as you think. Yes, you've now got yourself into a writing habit, you've got a clearer idea about pacing, rhythm, if you're lucky you're even well on your way to finding your voice. But now there's no safety net. You can no longer rely on Steven Moffat for your plots, Joss Whedon for your characters. It's all on you now. And that can be scary. You can start by twisting some of your short fiction - turn your vampires into accountants, maybe. Lift one of your plots (maybe you’ve got Harry Potter taking Ginny Weasley on a date to the cinema) scour out everything that isn’t yours and shape it into something that is unrecognisable as fanfiction.

I actually just got cracking on stuff that came to me, but the idea from my first novel actually had a fanfiction base. I saw a made-for-TV film, thought about how I would have changed it and that was the starting point.

Try it. It might work for you. It worked for me.

The Dreaded Block.

So it’s been a while, eh, blogosphere? Much as I would like to blame my busy and exciting lifestyle (which would be sort of true, given that I haven’t had a proper lay-in in, oooohhh, a month?) it wouldn’t be wholly correct.

Confession time: I think I may have writer’s block.

Now that’s not exactly shameful. Not like kicking puppies or stealing sweets (neither of which I condone. Obviously). But it is really hard for me to admit because until now I never believed in writer’s block. I was pretty vocal about it too:

“I don’t believe in writer’s block. Just write. If you feel blocked write your way through it. Anything else is laziness.”

Oh the naivety. Also, what an annoying git I sounded – why did no one smack me upside the head??

Whether it’s flash fiction, short stories or novels, it always takes me a while to get into the story. The first 100 – 5,000 words are never great. It’s like wearing in a new pair of shoes. I start by feeling my way, then once it’s comfy I can go back with a new awareness of what I’m doing and tighten up (or scrap!) those first words. But with this new story I’m suffering The Curse of the Second Album. The first novel flowed, I could think of nothing else, I enjoyed every word, half the time I couldn’t type quick enough. I was really proud of it in the end.

But now… I had a big writing sesh, saw the problems and stopped to regroup. Only instead of regrouping in came the doubts. Could I really churn out another 100,000 words of coherent plot and character? The ideas evaporated or just couldn’t be heard anymore. And the truth? Haven’t touched Novel Number 2 for a month.

Gulp.

I thought writer’s block was a lack of ideas and I’ve been there before – how do I get out of this corner? What happens now? What is she going to say to that? And yes, writing can get you out of that because it gets you thinking. Turns out that I was wrong though, at least as far as I’m concerned.

Writer’s block is fear. It’s the fear of not being able to do it again, not being good enough, it’s the fear of having no ideas.

But I still think I was right. The solution to any writing based problem is to WRITE MORE. Yes, the first 100 – 1,000 – 5,000 words will probably suck but there’s no other way to shift the block, to clear away the debris and come up shiny and new again. The beauty of writing is that you don’t have to stick with what you got the first time round, you can change, polish, rearrange. No one has to see your purple prose!

So now I’m going to take my own advice. In between the weddings, the cinema, the BBQs, I will be writing. Fear be damned!

Writing myths

Anyone even vaguely interested in writing will have heard several key phrases about how to go about it. Some of them are golden rules that really help you and should be obeyed nearly all the time. Some though are of the pick and mix variety – use them if they work for you but don’t feel guilty if you decide to chuck them out of the window.

Kill your darlings.

Yes. This is a good one. I’m not saying that if you find yourself looking at a sentence going “Cor, I’m a genius. That is really good!” that you should immediately hit the delete button. But you might find yourself unable to remove something even though you sense that it probably needs to go or someone has suggested it doesn’t work. Sometimes people are wrong when they say that line needs to go. But if several people have said it and you’re still stubbornly sticking by it, claiming that it’s “too good” to lose, then you might need to reconsider.

Don’t just delete it because someone has told you to. But take a step back. Don’t look at it for a while. Go write something else, ride a horse, dance the conga, do something to clear your head of it. Hopefully you’ll be more objective when you come back. The idea is, never get so attached to a line, a scene, a character, a plot that you are willing to sacrifice the story to keep it. The beauty of taking time a break from the story is that when you come back and realise it does need to go, you’ll have distance and it won’t hurt to hit the delete button.

Write what you know.

This one I have some issues with. Mainly because I find it restrictive in its literal interpretation. If I only wrote what I know then all my characters would live in London, be part of single-parent families and have working class chips on their shoulders. Boring! Boring for me to write more than once, boring to read and boring for the characters because everyone will be pretty much the same.

I think this literal interpretation has stemmed from the idea that all writing is in some way autobiographical. If you write a story about a girl who’s not allowed to see her boyfriend – that must have happened to you. If you write a story about a guy who steals a motorbike – that must have happened to you. I find that really frustrating because it’s not always true. Yes, there are things in my life that have inspired my writing, but no more than the books I’ve read or the films I’ve watched have inspired my writing. It’s an argument that falters when you consider something like Jurassic Park.

However, I don’t think that this advice was ever meant to be taken literally. I think it’s true on a deep level – you need to understand, to know, your characters and what they feel in order to write something that rings true. Say you sit down to write about a girl who wants vengeance on the gang that killed her brother. You really have to think that through, think how you’d feel, what you’d do, before you start to write. It’s all very well to write what you think is the correct response but it’s not going to be truly complex, compelling and real until you’ve understood it. Walk a mile in your character’s shoes, only then are you going to know them well enough to write their stories.

Write. Just write.

In the words of Sally – yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!

I once read that Alan Bennett’s first draft of The History Boys was terrible. But it has since become a critically acclaimed hit and was made into a film. Not bad for something that wasn’t great from the word go, eh?

Because that’s the secret – nothing is ever great the first time round. Nobody is ever so good at something the first time that they never get any better. The same goes for your writing. Get it out, get it onto the page, the screen, wherever you’re most comfortable with and worry about whether it’s any good later. You cannot polish something that isn’t there.

My personal mantra is:

Write now. Worry later.

24 before 25.

Today is my 24th birthday. I’ve got the day off work so I’m off for a facial and massage with Mum and Nan (thank you, Groupon, for the dead cheap voucher) and then perhaps to Camden. The day is to be rounded off with some yummy food and some cake.

But I’ve been thinking recently that a birthday should be more than just an excuse to pamper yourself and get presents. It’s your own personal New Year!

I was inspired by this post last year and decided that I would do my own list. Reading over my list, there’s an awful lot of craft and learning based goals. Trying something new or rediscovering something I used to love. Here’s hoping these goals will really enrich my year! Some of these goals are ones that will have a result at the end of it, some of them are a little more fluid.

1. Actively pursue looking for an agent. I need to focus on it, rather than just browsing sites when I have a minute and then forgetting to do anything about it.

2. Get faster, go further. Seriously want to improve my running. I already have a regular monthly running date with a friend, so I  really want to focus on upping my personal best each time. And then totally smash it.

3. Finish up Novel Number 2, The Daddy. Slightly more of a challenge than I thought it would be as I’m still finishing up the edits on Novel Number 1.

4. Buy (at least) 3 vintage/second-hand/charity shop dresses. Better for the environment and I’ll have something no one else has. Already planning a trip to a vintage fair on Sunday!

5. Sew a new item of clothing for myself, I haven’t since I made a skirt when I was 15. I might even treat myself to this kit.

6. Knit a jumper. I can knit a scarf, but I want to make clothing. And this also means learning to read a pattern. Which may as well be in Hindi for all the sense I can currently make of them.

7. Give up bread! This isn’t some bizarre diet attempt. I absolutely adore bread, but it makes me lazy. If I can’t be bothered to cook, I know I can fill up on a couple of slices of toast. If I vow to eat less bread, then it will encourage me to cook more. Expand my culinary repertoire!

8. Visit an outdoor adventure place. I don’t think this needs more explanation really does it?

9. Look into a course about web design. I know precisely nothing about anything technical, but I’d love to know more. I can’t think of a better way to learn than by going back to school.

10. Finish up that epic poem and make it up into a book, complete with illustrations! I started it in 2009 and I’m very fond of it so I want to see it finished to see how the story ends. When I did GCSE I particularly loved the drawing stage, I found it really relaxing, even if some of the designs were beyond my sewing capabilities! But now I put it off because I’m not that good at it so I think it’s about time I rediscovered the fun and perhaps with practice I’ll get better!

11. Listen to more radio programmes. I kept hearing about someone in The Archers falling off a roof and realised that radio can get you talking just as much as TV. Also, I need to get out of this habit of getting into watching something just because it’s on in the room I happen to be in.

12. Knit a sock. Yes, just the one. Two if I can manage it, but I hear tell that socks are fiendishly difficult so one would make me very proud indeed!

13. See the very last Harry Potter film and really enjoy it. All too often I think – not as good as the book and terribly cast. But this series has been part of my life since I was 11 years old and thanks to the films I didn’t have to say goodbye when the last book was published in 2007. So I’m going to enjoy this!

14. Do the splits! Yes, this is a dream of mine.

15. See three new plays. I love the theatre, but I find it expensive and booking tickets always seems to be such a hassle (is it just me? But I can never find three seats together on the same night that aren’t the price of a champion racehorse!)

16. Make a real go of some freelancing work.

17. Join a club. I haven’t really thought this one through because I don’t know what club! But I’m going to keep my eyes peeled for something interesting and hope I can meet some inspiring new people. A London writers club would be wonderful. Any ideas, let me know!

18. Go to a big sewing/knitting/vintage/craft event. I love craft, do-it-yourself and vintage and all the blogs seem to find these events a lot of fun. So I’d like to join in on that fun and maybe learn something new.

19. Visit an antiques fair. I blame Kirsty Allsopp for this.

20. Visit Wales. I hear they have great trails there. And a howies shop…

21. Go horse-riding. I think the last time I rode I was about 14 when I was working in a stable. Then came the GSCEs, the A-levels and university. Time to get back in the saddle I reckon!

22. Join a pottery class or at least make a coil pot at home. Again – enough with the “Ooo, that looks good, I’d like to try that.” I’m going to do it!

23. Do a poetry open mic night. It’s one thing reading out your work to a seminar group, it’s quite another to get up on stage and do it. So I’ll admit that I’ll probably visit somewhere that does this a few times before I actually try it. There's no reason to sacrifice myself unawares to a baying mob! Any recommendations of places/events to check out, let me know please!

24. Take up tennis. I get addicted to Wimbledon every year and I’ve got a tennis court about a 45 minute walk away from me. There’s no reason not to have a go myself!

So here’s to my own personal New Year. Let’s see how many goals I can fulfil. I may do another post about my birthday weekend of fun next week, we shall see!

Happy Birthday to any fellow Pisceans and Happy Un-birthday to everyone else!

Exhaustion = Inspiration?

After an exhausting week I find myself facing a busy weekend. In fact, looking at my diary, not only am I working a 12 hour shift as well as my regular 10 hour shift next week, but I’m not due any down time until next weekend. You have no idea how much I’m looking forward to that weekend. I can see it now: me, in my slanket, a book, a cup of tea, the sofa. I’m only leaving the house for jalapenos, black beans and a gentle little run (maybe). Because sometimes, I just need to recharge my batteries. So don’t even try to get me out and doing anything more energetic than a jog. It ain’t gonna happen.

I am gradually getting into the routine of my new – hopefully permanent – rota. So now I’m slowing adding to my week. This week I successfully added in the hours that I can collaborate with my script-writing partner (although that’ll take a battering this week with that big fat 12 HOUR SHIFT). This week’s challenge is to fit in at least three runs while figuring out how to work Run Keeper from my Android phone. This is possibly a challenge too far…

Still, despite the long hours at work and the hours wasted travelling there and back I am not lacking in inspiration. The strange thing with me is that when I have all the time in the world, words are not forthcoming as when I’m trudging to the train station at 7am with my flask in one hand and brolly in the other. It’s like they know I really ought to be making productive use of the day.

In fact I always found at uni that I was at my most productive and creative when it was term-time and I was juggling lectures, deadlines, reading and my part-time job. In the summer, when I always intended to write loads and steal a march on the upcoming year, I always ended up craving fiction. My brain just refused to produced – it wanted to consume. The same happens on my weeks off and during those vast sands of unemployment. What my brain demands is a rest from producing and thinking. What fiction is for me and my brain is grist to the meal because when I’m back at work or wading through a to-do list that reaches my belly-button, I’ll be musing vaguely on something I just read or watched and through a convoluted train of thought I’ll arrive at a spark of an idea.

It also helps that being busy, having a life beyond the tapping of keys and the glow of a computer screen brings you into contact with people, events, snippets of conversation… gossip basically. I have to admit to lapping up the tales my friends tell – everything from funny things that happened to them and stuff that happened to their friend’s-brother’s-cousin-in-law’s-wife.

And yes, I have to confess, some of those stories have made their way into my notebook.

Define thyself.

I’ve been AWOL for a bit due to more hours at work. It’s still not full time, but the travel and the early mornings (ergo, early nights) have meant that I haven’t fancied sitting down in the front of the computer more than I have to. I’ve also had less time for reading, but I will have a review up on VL this week. I’m also planning a big one for mid February – comparing a 15th century text with its modern-day counterpart. I shall say no more till then…

Apart from that, I’ve been wondering the last week or so about definitions. How do you define yourself? It’s pretty important really. Your definition of yourself affects how you approach the world. But who can define themselves in one word? There’s probably a handful of words that you would use to define yourself, to say “This is the person I am” – cheerful, ugly, intelligent, happy, pessimist, sexy, creative, lucky. But do you also define yourself by what you do, by your job?

When I was at uni, despite also working at least two days a week I defined myself as a “student” because that’s what I was. I was only working in retail because I was a student. As I’m currently working 4 days a week as a receptionist and my days of being a student are over, I’m wondering how I’d define myself now. Say I get talking to someone in a bar and they ask “And what do you do?” How would I respond? I would probably say, “I’m a receptionist,” because that’s what I am, that’s what I’m paid for. I’m also not very comfortable telling strangers “I’m a writer.” You inevitably face the “Have I read anything of yours then?” question which can be very embarrassing if, like me, you’ve only had a couple of short stories and poems published. The only person who has read my complete published works is my Mum. An unpublished novel is not half as impressive once people realise that it’s just unpublished, not unpublished-at-the-moment-but-it’s-due-out-in-March.

But in my heart, I don’t consider myself a receptionist. It’s what I do to earn money, to pay bills, buy clothes, books and paper. It is not who I am. In my heart I am a writer. I write every day, even it’s just my diary. No, I’m not a career writer. I don’t have things regularly published and it doesn’t pay my bills. But I think about it constantly. My characters live in my head. I will write on anything, including my arms, in the middle of the night when I can’t find my notebook (everyone knows when this has happened because it ends up on my face) When I’m in the bath, I chatter away into a Dictaphone (the best present ever for someone who narrates long passages when up to her neck in bubble bath and then can’t remember a word of it when she can touch her notebook without water logging it). I read books and have one of three reactions:

1. Here’s where I think they went wrong...

2. Hmmm, I would have done this… (believe it or not, but that’s the genesis of Novel Number 1).

3. That was brilliant, I wish I had written it.

Even if my published tally remains a couple of short stories and poems, I won’t stop writing. If you told me I’d never publish another word I’d still write because I wouldn’t know what to do with myself otherwise. I’d have to take up… oh, I don’t know. Oil painting. Dog breeding. Pottery.

So, should you ever meet me in a bar and I say I’m a receptionist, remember how I really define myself:

Londoner. Vegetarian. Optimist. Passionate. Writer.

About! TURN!

So, you know that new novel I’ve been kicking about for a while now? Well, let’s put that to one side for a moment, shall we?

There I was, chilling out in the bath last night, minding my own business and then bang – it hit me. Novel Number 1 is not finished. If I’m honest, when I saved it for the last time under the defiant title “FINAL DRAFT!” I sort of had a niggling feeling that it wasn’t finished. But I’d had enough of it by that point. I was sick to death of editing. And I honestly couldn’t think what it was that was niggling at me, what needed to be changed.

But it hit me last night and I wanted to leap out of the bath and get editing. I wanted to stay up all night to sketch in this big change. But I didn’t, mainly because the fire was off and we have no heating. And I was really tired. So while I got dressed, brushed my hair, washed my face, brushed my teeth, it was all going mad in my head.

So today I sat down and I sketched in that big change. I adapted the scenes that needed adapting, changed the names that now needed changing. It’s basically all there now (and 2,500 words shorter! Wimper) but I do need to get on with the fine detail editing. That could take two week’s hard work.

I’m not looking forward to it. I quite enjoy editing short stories because you can lay the whole thing out before you and it’s so easy to find things, check things. A novel is not quite so manageable. But I know it’s going to be worth it.

I’m going to be able to put the niggling feeling to bed and I’m finally going to feel like it’s finished and I can stop playing with it. And I’ll finally feel free to work on my next novel.

So I’m psyched up for this. I really am. Can’t wait to get started on it.

But first I’m going out to see Harry Potter. Byee!!

The girl gets a makeover.

A lot of things happen when you give up chocolate, cake and biscuits. I thought I’d be absolute hell to live with considering I build my day around chocolate breaks and biccies keep me going between breakfast and lunch. But I’m actually not too bad, occasionally a bit tetchy, but that’s nothing. And hey, half way through the month and I’ve only suffered a two day wobble (hardly my fault when there was a CARRIER BAG of chocolate buttons in the house!) And I’m starting to get these looks from le fam. Little sideways ones when they think I’m not looking, while they’re having tea and biscuits and I’m just sipping my green tea. They’re actually starting to look quite impressed.

Secondly, you lose weight. I hadn’t realised that I actually eat pretty healthily and I don’t eat loads. Take away all those sugary snacks and I’m a breakfast-lunch-dinner girl. It’s surprising how pecking away at biscuits between meals, cake for elevenses and chocolate for pudding makes you think you’ve eaten loads that day. Which – calorie-wise – you probably have.

Anyway, I’m doing less running because it’s getting too chilly for a wuss like me, but I’ve got back into Pilates and yoga. Pilates had slid away when I got into running and I had forgotten that it was actually a cardio workout and crikey, it doesn’t half make your legs ache. But combined with the no-sugar-month the results were super speedy and I’m feeling pretty good. Bring on that Christmas Little Black Dress! I’ll be cranking up the Flirt-o-Factor so watch out Laaandaaaan!

So, my skin is glowing because I’ve been so healthy these last couple of weeks and I’ve got into the habit of drinking water when a sugar craving hits. I’m feeling pretty fit and good about my figure.

And then insomnia made me decide to cut my hair. I was tossing and turning and when your hair reaches down almost to the middle of your back, it gets in the way. I woke up with a birds nest and spent nearly ten minutes untangling it. And that was it, its fate was sealed. But my good mate C couldn’t fit me in for a cut for a couple of weeks so it’s been driving me mad for a while. So when it went I was totally ok with it. Relieved even. I would have gone shorter, I love cute little bobs, but I’m lazy and this is just long enough that I can tie it up if I don’t have time to style it or I’m having a bad hair day.

And here’s the results (posing is not my forte):
 
In other news, I’ve received a couple of ever so polite rejections. The sort that made me think that in any other time I might have made it to the interview stage. This is both heartening and depressing! Still, I’m plugging away and that’s the main thing.

The writing goes well too, which is wonderful and possibly the only thing that’s keeping me from climbing on the roof and going “Wooooee is meeeeeee!” And, rather excitingly, I’m going to a script-writing class on Monday. This makes me very happy indeed!

Oh and this week is Shakespeare Week on Vulpes Libris and it’s been rather wonderful. Here’s the link to my contribution: Shakespeare and Me

The writer who came in from the cold.

I’m not good with cold. It’s comes of growing up in a house without central heating. I kid you not. We have one fire in the living room and a heater in the bathroom. That’s it. We’re all about jumpers, layers and blankets. And tea. Lots and lots of tea. On really icy days I even brush my teeth with the warm water.

So I was either going to grow up to feel the cold worse or have become immune to it. Sadly, I’m the former. But I have my Paddington Bear coat so I’m prepared for the outside world and I have retreated from running and gone back to Pilates. On really lovely days I’m tempted out, but on cold and rainy days like today I’m quite happy with an hour of Pilates. It does the job.

This is also the time of year that colds set in. My Nan has already claimed to have one in her bladder. Not sure how medically possible that is, it’s not something that Holby City covers.

But this is ideal writing weather. Although produces a certain sort of prose, I’m tending towards more atmospheric stuff than normal, slightly spooky.

In other news, I had an email today offering me an interview at the end of November. Only a part-time thing, but hey, it’s cash! And coming in the same week as my work experience fell through (it was in Bristol, despite me stating I live in London and was therefore after experience in the London office) it was a bit of a boost.

Got a couple of other applications to fill in when I’m done here. So the application process rolls on.

Meet The Daddy

Yikes, I was a bit grim the other day, wasn’t I? My apologies.

It’s just occurred to me that I haven’t really addressed my writing on this blog. Mainly for the shameful reason that I haven’t done much of it. I’m not sure if other writers would agree with me, but I find it much harder to write the more time I have on my hands. It’s the same with a lot of my life – if I’m working full time I find I run more, write more and socialise more. I get less done on a week off work than I do on my first week back. Bit mad really.

The main writing news is that I’ve sadly scrubbed Idea Number Two from my whiteboard. Purely because it’s a brand spanking new idea that needs longer to stew. So I’ll be scribbling notes on that while I tackle Idea Number One, henceforth to be known as The Daddy.

I had promised myself I wouldn’t do this again. My first novel wasn’t straightforward – I used three narrators and covered 50+ years and not in chronological order. It was an editing nightmare, but I did it! I refused to be defeated! And then I was done I said to myself “The next book you write is going to start at the beginning and end at the end.” Ah, the promises you make yourself, do they ever remain unbroken?

Meet The Daddy: a family saga spread over two parallel universes. Oh yes. The first few thousand words have been divine. Absolutely wonderful to write, mainly because the split hasn’t happened yet. But we’re swiftly approaching the big question. “Yes” will lead to one universe and “No” will lead to another and thenceforth I’ll be juggling two worlds. Help! At least I can say that the story does begin at the beginning and end at the end, no more of this jumping about through time malarkey. It’s just that I have to write two stories at the same time.

Thankfully I’m yet to venture into parallel universe territory. I’m the sort of writer who will work and re-work the first 5,000 or so words. This is where I experiment, where I figure out if the story is best in third or first and if in first, who’s voice? I feel like I need to get these words right before I can move on, then I'm comfortable writing the rest of the story because I know my foundation is solid. the foundation might not last the edit but it will have done its job.

And I’ve just put down The Post-Birthday World by Lionel Shriver, a parallel-universe story of such brilliance I couldn’t stop grinning. Fortunately mine is just different enough that I don’t think I should give up, instead it has inspired me – it can be done!

Oh and keep an eye on Vulpes Libris, got a review up next Friday.

Inspirational posts

Here are a couple of posts that I’ve found inspirational. This first one is an old one that appeared in the howies catalogue a while back. I loved it so much that I ripped it out and stuck it on my wall. I’m working along these lines at the moment: Find your love

This second one is a new post, I got the link through The Do Lectures which I follow on Twitter: How BIG is your BUT? I’d recommend The Do Lectures anyway because although I cannot even imagine being able to afford to go, I love watching the lectures online. Some of the most inspirational stuff on the net, I think. Check it out!

What are your favourite inspirational posts? Or where do you get your inspiration from?

In other news I’ve have to confess that I haven’t looked for an agent for my novel in weeks. Yes, I know. Bad writer, how do you expect to ever get published?! So I’ve re-evaluated my time management. I’ve decided that given the time job applications take, how boring and eye-itching I find them, I’m only going to work on them every other day. I’ll try and average getting out about five on the days I work on them. The days I don’t work on them I’ll work on my own writing and on the agent search. At the moment I’m applying and then not bothering to do this other work because my eyes need a rest from the computer screen. I think this way I’ll still manage to get out plenty of applications and also work on other things. And hopefully having a day’s break will mean I’ll be fresher when working on personal statements and stories.

Any suggestions re: time management/agents/job hunting are cheerfully accepted!

Oh and if you’re interested in reviews, here's my latest: The Private Lives of Pippa Lee by Rebecca Miller

Mind The Gap

I was watching Notes on a Scandal the other night (thanks BBC iPlayer) and something Sheba Hart, as played by Cate Blanchett, said struck me: “Mind the gap – the distance between life as you dream it and life as it is.”

And it’s true, isn’t it? But how many of us would be happy living our big dream? My dream goes a little something like this:

Lovely big house, lovely husband and 2.4 lovely children. All of them faceless, of course, given that they don’t exist. There’s a long hall way and me ushering them all out to work and school, bikes jumbled under the stairs (my dream bike – currently being saved for one pound coin at a time – gleams brightest among them). There’s me waving them all off. Then I shut the door (Victorian stained glass glowing in the sunshine) and make my way up to my study to work. So far, so general. But the truth is that this whole fantasy hinges on my study…

Tucked right up in the attic of the house, so high there’s no need for curtains. With windows either end the light streams in. Three quarters of the way down the room there’s a wall, with an arch and a step leading into the smaller side of the room. The floor is wooden, real wood, the sort that glows like sunlight through a jar of honey, and is scattered with cosy rugs. Under the window in the biggest side of the room is my desk, nice and wide with a comfy chair, clear but for my laptop. There are bookshelves packed with all my favourite books, filing cabinets for everything from ideas to finished work, letters to bills. There’s also my trusty magnetic whiteboard, with my word count, things to remember and post cards on. Down the length of the room is a bigger table for thought processes. I find i think so much clearer when it comes to editing if I can spread the pages out.

The smaller half of the room, up the step and through the arch, has the other window. Here is my cosy reading chair, red and squashy and just that bit too big for one person. A handmade throw tossed over the back of it for snuggling up in the winter. There’s a table beside it with a stack of library books and plenty of room for a cuppa.

The ultimate sanctuary. Bliss. Oh what I wouldn’t give for that particular room of one’s own. But the rest of that dream, the house, the husband, the work-from-home-mum that happens to be me – not really sure about that. After all, if I’m not out and about, what on earth would I have to write about?

And who wants a faceless husband anyway?

Things to do

I’m taking time out from my job applications to write this. I need a break from the constant repetition of where I went to school and what I studied at A-level. I remember a little while back one of my favourite company’s howies was looking for staff and rather than the traditional application form, they wanted a letter telling them about yourself. I was tempted to apply just for the enjoyment of letter-writing. So much more fun and less production line like than the traditional application process.
I thought I’d share some pictures of my things to do:

The Whiteboard

This is my trusty whiteboard. It’s got the reviews that are ready to go onto Vulpes Libris when there’s an available slot. Space for short story notes which is blank at the moment because I’ve only recently decided to really work on my short stories. There my current word count in a bright, accusing red and a few notes on my current work-in-progress (as well as notes for another possible  W.I.P). There’s also, way down in the bottom right hand corner a little tally chart for rejections. So far my novel has been rejected by three agents and I’m keeping count because every no is one step nearer a yes! I also stick up postcards and my library receipts and brochures for things I want to do (currently Open University – World Archaeology please – and Rosetta Stone because I want to learn Italian).

Future Projects:

This is all the stuff I want to do over the next few months and in the New Year. There’s a Swiss ball set there because I’d like to keep healthy and as I can’t always go for a run, I thought this would be a good alternative. I’ve been using it for two days and I really am feeling it in my core muscles. Love it!

There’s two vegan cookbooks there, Meals Without Squeals. I’m vegetarian, not vegan, but I like to use as few animal products as possible and I’m always on the lookout for new recipes. As soon as I get chance I’ll be flicking through these and writing a shopping list.

The books are an assorted bunch. I read (and reviewed!) Our Tragic Universe by Scarlett Thomas a little while ago. Not only did I adore the book but it made an impression on me as I really identified with the heroine. I suppose it partly inspired my decision to look for the life I want rather than wait for it to fall into my lap. Anyway, two of the books there are read by the heroine in the book – Getting Started Knitting Socks and Bach Flower Therapy. As I was learning to crochet and really enjoying it, I wanted to make more things, but practical things, hence the sock book. Once I’ve made my Christmas presents, I’ll be tackling socks and I will not be defeated! I was also intrigued by the idea of Flower Therapy and I will definitely be reading that soon, maybe even trying it out. Then there’s my Complete Guide to Running which I bought for the tips and the motivation. I’m only dipping in and out at the moment, but I think I’ll try and read it in full so I don’t miss anything.

And right at the bottom is chess, which I picked up for the bargain price of £1.99 in Help the Aged. I’ve never been able to get my head round the game but now I’ve got some free time and know someone that can teach me, why not have another go?

So there you are, all the things I want to start doing. I’m already dreading facing the socks…